I wish I didn’t think the way I feel.
Confused, crazed, a maddening concoction of frustration and passion.
I wish I thought the way I used to feel.
With lightness, a goal in mind but out of reach, clear behind the tears.
I wish I didn’t think the way I walk.
Clumsy, unbalanced, swaying with every knock of air on my skin.
I wish I thought like I used to walk.
Focussed – eyes to the ground, meandering.
I wish I could collect my thoughts like daydreams
A half portrait of my past self,
Before you removed my thoughts
And became all I could think about.
Sometimes I wish I didn’t love you
but then this feeling would disappear
and I’d be less then I was before
and nothing now…